Saturday, September 19, 2015

Holy Jesup, Georgia!


  1. What had happened was I think Greyson Lambert or his mama read my blog last week. He got his hair cut. He got a good beard trim. And that young man became a DAWG! He’s no longer Greyson Lambert from UVA! Champagne and Charlottesville are a distant memory! Who would have thought that boy from the Vandy game would break records tonight. He was almost flawless. Holy Jesup, Georgia. What a night he had! Y'all can thank me later.
  2. Game ball to Sony Michel. I love to watch him play. Chubb runs over folks and that is cool but I’m a sucker for a kid who can juke. He’s got that down to an art!
  3. Overall awesome game. Hubs put ribs in the smoker and they were unbelievably good. Now I had the normal crowd around here.. you know my Daddy talking about how the Mormons always keep enough grain for a year’s supply and my sister in law texting me about her rooster attacking her in the backyard.. but overall it was a great tailgate at home!
  4. There are obviously different levels of Dawg Devotion. It ranges from the low level  “What are you doing Saturday?” to mid level “what time does the game come on?” -who by the way doesn’t know what time the game comes on!.. All the way to “I want my ashes scattered over the Hedges. Now somewhere right up near scattering your ashes over Sanford is where my friend Tim stands. He’s a full grown man and sent me the funniest picture today. He was grinning from ear to ear and just giddy over a Georgia outfit he’d found for a 6 month old cousin. Yep. No doubt Tim bleeds red and black.
  5. I don’t care for 6pm kickoffs. You’re down right exhausted after watching a bunch of mediocre games all day like Notre Dame and Georgia Tech. It’s like rooting for the devil or well… the devil. I couldn’t decide. When Notre Dame scored I cussed under my breath. When Georgia Tech scored I didn’t feel one bit different. Equal hate. But all that hate wears you out and by the time the Dawgs came on I’d eaten enough to feed our O Line for 3 days and I’d exhausted myself hoping ND and GT would just knock the crap out of each other equally.
  6. I don’t think they ought to review movies during a football game. I don’t care if the movie is about football. Shut up lady. Nobody cares. You’ve got the best running back in the country running wild behind you and you’re interviewing somebody in a movie. I.Do.Not.Care! I don’t care if a former camera man is in the movie. This ain’t the Roger Ebert show. It’s a football game!! I’d rather talk about the Mormons and their grain stockpile than a movie. The film may be great. But I repeat… this is a football game! Ridiculous! Course that wasn’t as bad as changing over coverage to the Ole Miss/Alabama game. I missed the last minute of the Dawg victory to listen to Kirk Herbstriet babble on about nonsense.
  7. I know Spurrier says he’s good for another 3-5 years but I’m tellin ya he may be done this season. I love to hate Spurrier and I will miss him. But this may be our last chance to have hung 60 on the ol’ Ball Coach and we missed it. Oh well. It’s still GREAT to be a Georgia Bulldog! I will be in Athens next week! My sister in law (of rooster attack fame) will be with me and it will be her first game in Athens. We have been to several Georgia Florida games together and even though she's an Armstrong Atlantic grad, she's a DGD! I'm still working on the "game focus" but we are making great progress! One thing is for sure, there's always a lot of laughter when the two of us go off to a football game together and I can't wait! I've missed Athens and I need to check out Mark's hair up close! Go Dawgs!

Saturday, September 12, 2015

Went to a Football Game and A Goat Show Broke Out

10.  Sweet holy Mary where to begin.. First, Look- Lorenzo Carter I know your ejection was bull. Crazy call that really diminishes the game. But all of that aside, when you get ejected you don’t smile. I wish Coach Richt would hire me just to yell at players who do stupid things like smile after an ejection. I think my 5’4” self jumping up and clanging them upside their heads with their own helmet might help.  Think about it Mark, ok? I have to give 2 weeks notice at work.


9.  Leonard Floyd, Jordan Jenkins and the rest of the defense saved this game. They all deserve the game ball. In fact they ought to make the offense pay for dinner all week. Ridiculous.


8. Now I know I’m going to get flamed for this, but I don’t care. I think, and I have always felt that given the right opportunities, Sony Michel is a better all around athlete than Nick Chubb. I think he’s just now coming into his own. I’m glad both of them are Dawgs and Nick Chubb is still a freak.  It’s my commentary. Make up your own if you don’t like it.


7. If you have not seen the video replay of  Dominic Sanders’ touchdown run, you should. The run is awesome but that’s not why you need to see the replay. My sister in law pointed out the guy on the sideline near the end of the run doing a toe touch. Like her,  I’m not certain he was aware he could do a toe touch until that touchdown run! It’s worth your time to watch it. Whoever you are young man, Go Dawgs! That toe touch earned you a DGD designation!


6. I hate when they show too much cheerleader footage on a football broadcast. I don’t have anything against cheerleaders.. there’s only so much of the valley girl “GeorGIA” and “Dogs” with a short O sound I can stand.


5. I have a confession. Last week Matt Hodges suggested I get a shirt that says “Hush Y’all The Dawgs Are On!” since I end up watching the game with people who tend to talk about random foolishness during the game rather than pay attention. I bought it and it arrived Thursday! I love it! BUT… during today’s game I had to leave the room. Our cleaning lady hasn’t been here in two weeks and I got so frustrated watching this RIDICULOUS display of offense that I furiously cleaned two toilets during the first half. THAT’S how bad it was. The toilet/Our offense… same general idea today.


4.  Now I know y’all are gonna want to give Lambert a hard time. I’m not. This fella came from the ACC. This time last year he was playing in Charlottesville. At Georgia, we say “it’s north of the stadium or it’s south of the stadium”.  At UVA they say it’s north of the “lawn”..  My brother in law is a UVA grad and he verified this for me. Folks I’m tryin’ to say it like this… Give the boy a break. He’s going to need to get the rust out. You can have rust in the ACC and get by. That’s not going to cut it here, but he needs a chance to shake it off.


5. Now look here Greyson Lambert- you see me taking up for you? Don’t do me wrong next week against the chickens you hear me?  Hell hath no fury like a Georgia girl proven wrong. Oh and for goodness sakes get a hair cut and a shave. Ya look like tweety bird with an 8 o’clock shadow. It’s not a good look for you. Sheesh. Once I get Mark Richt straight on his foolish hair mess, you start looking like you’ve come off a three day drunk.


4. Overall the best part of this game was my Mississippi Sin Dip. Even though I couldn’t find chives in the entire town of Waynesboro, it was still pretty dog gone good. It sustained me while the Dawgs were busy being inconsistent and flat.


3.  Mark Richt still lacks fire in his belly. I’m beginning to think he doesn’t really have it in him. This is yet another position for which I am highly qualified. Mark, if you can’t bring yourself to grab a kid by his facemask, or rip your headset off and stomp it, I could do that for you. I mean I single handedly cursed the refs while waving  a toilet wand today. I can do it. Let me know.


2. This game was “oogly” as my daddy would say. Wasn’t a thing pretty about it. Felt off balance and totally out of rhythm. I know a win is a win but this one was like three fourths of a win. You can’t have a full win when Vandy makes you nervous up until the end.

  1. There were some stupid calls. The phantom hand to the facemask call was ridiculous but ya know what? This was Vandy. Even though Georgia was the visiting team, it was clear that the Dawg fans vastly outnumbered Vanderbilt’s.. That oughta tell you something, but somehow Vandy hung around like hair in a biscuit as Matt Hodges would say and that was nothing short of ridamndiculous.  It’s great to be a Georgia Bulldog. Greyson Lambert, Virginia transfer, I’m a need you to amp up ya greatness ya hear?

Thursday, June 11, 2015

40 things I've learned in 40 years

"Life really does begin at 40. Everything up until then is just research." -Carl Jung



On the Eve of my 40th birthday, I decided maybe it's a good time to write again. I haven't blogged since December of last year. Life has a way of hitting fast forward and you feel like you're a passenger on a train rather than driving the train. I remember in Coal Miner's Daughter Loretta Lynn's famous line "I feel like my life is running me." Sometimes I do feel that way. We all get overwhelmed and have crazy time periods in our lives.  Some major changes have been underway in the House of Bennett. The girls are back in public school and very happy. We just needed an academic change. I am happier. They are happier. Win win.  Ali has been super busy with her 4H madness and is eager to start high school at JCHS where Pete teaches. Addie is just Addie. Quirky, nutty, silly, and just full of life. She loved her teachers this year and she tested into the Gifted program. Her tender heart and her ability to think just a little differently makes me smile. I'm very proud of both of them. Ali needs some extra help in math this summer in order to prepare for Coordinate Algebra next year in public school but I am SO super proud of her reading level. WAY above grade level. The older she gets the more she takes after her daddy. An avid reader, a low tolerance for bullshit, a very keen eye for superficiality. It's hard to tell who Addie takes after until she opens her mouth and her smartassery comes out. She's mine without a doubt. 

So 40 things I've learned in 40 years...

1. I have found the older I get, the less tolerance I have for obvious stupidity. Like calling Miracle Whip mayonnaise. Stop. That's an insult to jars of  mayonnaise everywhere and it makes you look like an idiot. At least in the South it does.  

2. I've learned that people change. For good for bad.. for better for worse. People change. I've changed. I don't know if it's God working in your life or it's just that you've lived long enough on the earth to realize that if you don't bend then you're more apt to break and bending is akin to changing. 

3. I've learned that it REALLY doesn't matter what other folks think. Really. It doesn't! Isn't that freeing? It doesn't make two hairs on a rat's hind end what someone thinks about what I do. That's been a long time coming for me but I've arrived at the intersection of "It's my business"  and "Don't care what ya think about it anyway avenue". It's a beautiful destination. Make a map and get there quickly folks. Life's too short to worry about people who look for controversy. Repeat after me "I really don't care". Say it several times. You'll feel better. Make decisions based on what's right for you and your family. If other folks whisper behind your back they're either jealous or they think very little of themselves. That's really about it. 

4. I've learned that some people lack self esteem and when they do, they will tear you down. Don't let them. What they lack in self confidence shouldn't affect yours.

5. I've learned that it is SO SO SO very easy to let your work/family balance get out of whack. I've learned it's easier for this to happen to husbands.  It takes vigilance on my part to make sure I'm doing right by my kids. There are some key phrases that I recognize IMMEDIATELY as a bad sign when I say them. "In a second", "let's do that tomorrow" , "i'm too tired to do that today".. just a few. When I find myself saying those words I stop what I'm doing and do what the kids want to do. I try to anyway. 

6. I've learned that childhood is kinda like a roller coaster but when a child gets to about the 4th grade, it's like the coaster is at the top of a huge hill and all of a sudden everything goes so fast. It seems like yesterday Ali was in elementary school and here she is starting high school. In 4 short years off to college she goes and I swear I still see her at about 8 years old. Sometimes she comes downstairs dressed to go somewhere and I hardly recognize her anymore. It's so exciting and so very heartbreaking at the same time. 

7. You can't increase a kid's vocabulary by copying definitions out of the back of the book. I don't care if you did it in school yourself. It didn't help you either. If you're still making kids do it, for the love of God stop. 

8. If you read, you get smarter. If you don't read, you get dumber. It's well researched. Check it out if you don't believe me. 

9. I've learned that there are precious few things more beautiful to me than Addie singing when she doesn't know i'm listening, Ali dancing a foxtrot, or my husband building something for me with his own hands. 

10. I've learned that the kids don't care if my thighs jiggle. They just want me to swim in the pool with them. 

11. I've learned that not everyone was born a Dawg. It's sad but all we can really do is pray for those people. 

12. I've learned that sometimes folks you call your friends are not and that sometimes you'll be astonished at the kindness of strangers.

13. I've learned that you can be rude, obnoxious, bitter, ugly, foul mouthed, and a general jackass but it doesn't endear you to anyone and studies say you won't live nearly as long. Your choice. 

14. I've learned that if you have at least 2 friends in this world you can call in the middle of the night for any reason and they'll help you, you are blessed beyond measure. I can think of a few in my life. You know who you are and I'm glad you are a part of my life. 

15. I've learned that if you lean over in a kayak to try and retrieve your hat, you're going to flip over.

16. I've learned that if you flip your kayak, everyone will laugh. Even your friends from #14.

17. In fact, I've learned that if your friends don't laugh at you when you flip your kayak, they aren't friends. They are fake. Without a doubt. It's a litmus test for friendship. Try it. Flip your kayak, and if you come to the surface and your friends aren't laughing so hysterically they flip their own kayaks, ditch 'em. Not real friends. It works every time. 

18. I've learned that I am a small town girl at heart but the older I get the more I understand why young people are moving to the city. It's hard to think differently from the crowd and live in a small town. 

19. I've learned that if you accidentally get toothpaste on your flat iron and then iron it into your hair, it may take as many as 3 shampoos to get it out.

20. I've learned that real friends will look out for you and they are particularly good at pointing out when others are taking advantage of you.

21. I've learned that teenagers get really wrapped up in the number of likes they get on facebook or instagram. It's an immaturity thing I know but it gets on my ever lovin' nerves.  Who cares. See #3.

22. I've learned that just because the crowd is doing it doesn't mean it's the right thing, the best thing, or even worth your time and money. 

23. I've learned that you shouldn't plant ornamental sweet potato in the same container as an asiatic lily. The sweet potato vine will take over and choke out the lily. 

24. I've learned that what they say about marrying a man like your daddy is true. If you have a good daddy, then try to marry a man as close to him as possible because every single thing about your husband that is not like your daddy grates on your nerves if you let it. It took me YEARS to tolerate Pete sleeping past sunrise or wearing sweatpants. I still cannot stand either one, but I tolerate it better than I did early on in our marriage. 

25. I have learned that you get out what you put in. In your work, your family relationships, your life in general. Don't think you're going to put crap in and expect to get a rose bush out.  That only works inside a chicken coop or a cow pasture, and it ain't usually a rose bush that sprouts up. 

26. I have learned that it's okay if your kids don't participate in every sport and play every instrument. 

27. I've learned that money in no way equals class or even the least amount of manners.

28. I've learned that it's much harder to raise a thinker than it is an honor roll student and the two aren't always synonymous. 

29. I've learned that a place is truly home when you get REALLY pissed off when folks slight it. I can complain about Burke County. The rest of you punk asses better not. 

30.  I've learned that if you put too much alcohol in a milk jug and light it in the science lab, you could cause a potentially major fire and the ensuing explosion will literally make your Ann Taylor skirt fly up over your head in front of everyone including Jesus Christ who single handedly prevented us all  from becoming toast that fateful day. 

31. I've learned that if you put too much alcohol in a milk jug and light it in the science lab, the result could be a friendship literally forged by fire.

32. I've learned that nobody grills a steak like Al Cooper. Nobody. I haven't eaten a restaurant steak in years. Probably 5 years at least. 

33.  I've learned that scrolling past that ridiculous show you love Jesus post on facebook doesn't really make  you a member of satan's army. I don't think Jesus has time for facebook... what with all the world hunger, oppression, poverty and alabama fans around Jesus is very busy and although He works through His people, I don't think sharing that stupid post on your facebook page is what He had in mind. I could be wrong. 

34.  I've learned that contentment is a wonderful thing and that being happy in your own skin is such a blessing. Happy with your body, happy with your life, happy with your family and all of the little things life has to offer. Happiness is largely a choice. 

35. I've learned that if you start hysterically laughing while paddleboarding you will fall off and your friends from #14 will laugh. 

36. I've learned that a woman needs to know how to put up her own tent. 

37. I've learned you find God in some really unexpected places and that God uses people in all sorts of ways. Spiritual gifts are real folks.  Find yours. Use yours. And I don't mean only at church.  I mean use those gifts for THE LEAST OF THESE.  

38. I've learned that you can't please all the people all the time. The older I get, the fewer people I see fit to please anyway. 

39. I've learned that I earned every single laugh line on my face. I've realized how lucky I am to be able to laugh. I've realized how blessed I am to work with a bunch of fruitloops who laugh way way more than they fuss. 

40. I've learned that 40 really is fabulous and I am one lucky girl. Super supportive family, funny as hell friends, house on a dirt road. Asking for more would be plain greedy. 

The end.  Looking forward to 40 more.