As the school year winds down, I am one stressed out Mama. I've been out of town for work. The girls have had all sorts of school obligations and Pete works all the time no matter what time of year it is. It's so easy for parents to get their nerves all in a mess this time of year and that causes us to lose perspective on what's really important.
A former high school classmate recently posted on facebook about her frustration with her son's grades. Her son is a smart 6th grader. Mercy don't I know what a change 6th grade is. There's no arguing that kids change drastically when they hit those tween years. Her contention was that 6th graders belong in the elementary school and not the middle school. While that argument may well be true, I wish people would not make that judgment based on their children's grades. You see- I'm a voice from the inside. I am a teacher and I am a mama. It's really a unique position. What I really want you mothers out there to understand is that your child's grades are in no way a reflection of what they know. They do not show how smart your kid is. They may well show how compliant your kid is to completely random demands, but in all honesty they are a poor representation of how much your child has learned. I can say this- my own child got the Presidential Award for Academic Excellence this year so I'm not just all sour grapes. Am I proud of her good grades? Sure I am. But do I flip out when she gets a bad grade for losing her homework? Nope. She's 11. Add that to the fact that she's ADD all day long and you end up with quite a few of those. So her grades aren't great sometimes. Does that lower grade mean she understands less material than she did before? Absolutely not. Did the grade where my 8 year old lost 5 points for not putting her name on her paper actually show she only knew 95% of the material and not 100%? Nope. That's why this Mama doesn't stress over it. Has your child ever gotten a "folder grade"? In other words, a grade that only reflects his or her ability to keep worksheets in a certain order? Mine has. That's certainly a teacher's prerogative. But ya know it's also my prerogative as a mother not to give a rat's hind end about such grades. And please- save the bullshit about teaching responsibility. If being able to keep papers in a certain order is a reflection of responsibility then hell call me irresponsible. I'm very very interested in what my girls are learning and how much of the material they understand and are able to apply. I am in no way interested in how well they keep up with worksheets or whether or not they turned in their homework on the random day it was graded. So you understand what I'm saying Alisa Smith McMahon? Connor's a great kid and he may have benefitted from another year at elementary school. But not because of his grades. Grades mean very little in the big scheme of life. I've learned that lesson. I'm proud of good grades. But B's don't bother me when I know my kid knows enough to make an A. It's what she KNOWS and UNDERSTNDS that's important. Not what's printed on that report card. And take that from a teacher and the mama of an honor roll student. Again- so proud of an all A report card but no prouder than I am of kindness, good manners, sportsmanship, or hell even their ability to climb a tree out in the back yard. I would posit that all of the latter probably have more bearing on success throughout life.
And speaking of climbing a tree in the back yard. Alisa posted an article this week about Americans having it all backwards when it comes to parenting. Honey after reading that I thought heck y'all maybe I AM a good Mama afterall and not a slacker! :) The article was highlighting Swedish and Finnish studies showing that mothers who took a more relaxed approach to parenting had children who experienced fewer injuries in their teen and adult years. The study cited an antecdotal story about German 5 year olds who regularly use pocket knives. Hardly ANY ever injured themselves. Hello. Thank you. I've seen more than a few eyebrows rise when Addie Belle Bennett hops right up on the kitchen counter, stands up, reaches to the top cabinet and gets herself a tall mason jar to pour her sweet tea into. I don't know why but it's never bothered me. She's never had a stitch. Well except that one time when she was barely a year old and pulled a tv table over onto herself and nearly chopped her own finger off. :) Ali Grace has never had stitches. Neither has ever broken a bone. Other than the finger incident, neither has ever been in the emergency room due to an accident. They may tomorrow. Never can tell. But I don't hover. They play outside and I'm usually not watching. They climb trees and I don't get a twitch when they get a little too high up. They swing on a homemade rope swing and since I didn't intervene, they figured out an ingenious way to keep from swinging back into the podium where they launch the rope swing. They climb on furniture. They chase goats barefooted outside. Allowing children to take risks hones their ability to discern what they're capable of according to the Swedish article. I just don't sweat it. I think it's more my personality than it is a parenting style but the article made me feel a little better about telling my kids to get the heck out of the house because the weather's too nice to be inside. Forgetting homework doesn't infuriate me nearly as badly as sitting in front of the TV when the weather is gorgeous outside.
So folks that's my rant for the week I guess. We've been busier than a one armed paper hanger around here. Ali Grace had her first dance at school last night:
We had tea with one of Addie's best buds, Ms Linda, in Sandersville this morning.
With the help of both sets of grandparents, the girls went to their 4-H banquet where Ali Grace got a ton of awards and Addie Belle got her very first award for being on the livestock team. I am so proud of both of them. Through literal blood sweat and tears they stuck it out last year. Showing livestock ain't for the faint of heart y'all. It's hard, dirty and sometimes frustrating work. But kids who can do that are making a future for themselves by learning all sorts of life's most important lessons. And that's something that makes this mama prouder than all A's.
