Halloween... ugh...

I've never been a huge fan of Halloween. I don't know why except I've never been fond of having the weebijits scared out of me I guess. I remember as a little girl visiting a friend's house for a slumber party and watching horror movies. It took me about 10 minutes before I was in the living room with the girl's mother watching Dallas and Falcon Crest. That's much more my speed.

A friend of mine on facebook posed the question a few days ago "Am I a bad parent for not paying 100 dollars for a stinkin' halloween costume?"  I had to laugh, because in this house we think paying TWENTY dollars is too much for a costume- especially in times like these. It almost seems ridiculous to spend that much money on a one time outfit when others are having a hard time putting food on the table. This year the girls are wearing their dance costumes from last year (which cost a small fortune). Ali will make a beautiful ballerina and Addie is wearing a glittery red and black costume. I'll paint a Georgia G on her cheek and she'll make a great Georgette! We just don't get into Halloween much around here. On top of that, I'm using John Rosemond's advice and saying NO and saying it OFTEN.  LOL  :)

The girls have only trick or treated a couple times. Once my parents took them while Pete and I were in Orlando for a conference. They went a time or two maybe when we lived in Rincon. However, now they really prefer to go to a fall festival at their grandparents' church. I'm fine with that.

This year I'll be watching the Georgia Florida game at home and after the game, I'll probably go by and help out with our Haunted House at school. As I said before, I'm not a big fan of scary, but watching those kids run out of their shoes to get out of the haunted house is priceless. We should charge admission to have seats by the exit doors. That's where the REAL show is!

We are all enjoying the cooler weather around here. Junior Pro football season is over and it's been really nice to have no obligations during the week. However, Addie INSISTS she wants to play Upward basketball so we'll see how that works out. Anyone who knows Addie, knows that will be interesting! I think Ali is enjoying having some time off, and as long as she doesn't ask, we're not adding anything else to our plate.   Fall is my favorite season of all. My friend Cindy, an avid gardener says fall is so depressing because the garden dies and it'll be a while before she can have fresh veggies again. I understand that view, but I welcome the relief from such intense heat and I have the best fireplace in the South. I swear y'all I do. It is huge and puts out enough heat to heat the downstairs of a 3700 square foot house. I can't wait to use it again! PJ's, hot tea, roaring fire trumps fresh veggies... well until about say February!! Then I'll be sick of the cold and ready to dig in the dirt again!
Enjoy this beautiful weekend! I'll be in dissertation prison again.

A kid, a cat, and some stepped on toes...

I know I've been cynical regarding my job lately. I think cynical is good sometimes. It shows we still have a pulse and that we still care. It's been a tough couple of years around here with furloughs, new mandates, and a ridiculous amount of new paperwork.  Well today a kid and a cat gave me a new outlook. It happened in a crazy way.


Ali Grace went to her first sleepover with friends at Magnolia Springs and Pete went hunting in Baxley with his old friends from ABAC. This left the house to just Addie and me. Dangerous combination. We had planned to get up and go see Secretariat this morning since it was just the two of us. Addie got up and wanted to go to church instead. I have to admit I was not in the mood. I'm exhausted. I'm frustrated with work and the world in general, and really I wanted to just see a mindless Disney movie and take it easy today. Addie crossed her arms and insisted that she wanted to go to church. I finally relented.


When I got to church I realized that we had a guest minister and pouted for a minute. I'm not usually a fan of guest ministers.  I'm thinking at this point that Secretariat would have been much better. Before church even started,  Addie has her bible opened to the book of Luke but she pretends she's reading the story of the Moses and the burning bush, which happens to be her all time favorite. I'm still pouting. 


The service started with the choir singing "Peace in the Valley".  Who can pout when someone sings that????  Anyhow, when the guest minister began to preach, I became completely riveted by what he was saying. I swear that man was talking to me. It was like he knew I was coming there and he knew what I needed to hear. You know how some ministers have a way of stepping on your toes without hurting them TOO much? This man had that talent to a tee. I swear it freaked me out. He even looked at me like he was seriously having a conversation with just me.


He told a story about a cat his son had brought home. He hated cats and one day cranked his car with the cat under the hood. After spending a fortune at the vet, he had to bandage and rebandage and rebandage the cat's leg. The cat didn't want the bandage and didn't understand that his owner was trying to help him. He didn't understand that he needed these bandages. The point was made. We are called to bandage and bandage and bandage again if necessary. I heard what I needed to hear. Many of my students don't want help. They don't understand how important their education is, and most of the time I spend more time pushing paper than actually working with students, but that is beside the point. I truly felt today that God was reminding me of what I was called to do. 


The last hymn was "Here I Am, Lord".  One verse of the song says "Who will bear my light to them? Whom shall I send?"  Okay. I get it. I'm going back to work Monday with a better attitude. I'm still not sure what the future holds, but I know I have to go about it with a better vision and a better attitude. There IS a reason why I'm here. I believe that. It took a 5 year old and a crazy cat story to remind me of that. 


On a funnier note, I ordered a tee shirt this week that shows a circle and a line tangent to the circle. The shirt says "CHECK OUT MY TAN LINE"  Now THAT is funny. I don't care who you are! Have a good week everyone. Be kind to each other. It's rough out there. 

Not so "Teacher of the Year"

This past week my colleagues nominated me as a candidate for TOTY (not the kind with whiskey and honey unfortunately).  I regret the fact that when my AP told me I was one of the three finalists, I actually grimaced without thinking at all. See, I don't feel like a teacher of the year at all right now. I came home and asked my husband what he thought about it and he said that if your colleagues think enough of you to nominate you that you should carry through with the competition.  So, I did. Tuesday is our observation and the decision will be made. Some parts of me feel like an impostor right now and let me say why.

First, I am not very satisfied with my job right now. Our school day begins too early and ends too late. Our kids have very few exploratory choices that involve physical activity and yet we wring our hands and don't understand why the kids are off the chain by the afternoon.  Our calendar is terrible and almost kills teachers before Christmas. And again, we wring our hands and don't understand why teacher absenteeism is a problem.  That's just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

Second, I'm not very satisfied with public education in general. I don't think ANY of the gubernatorial candidates, nor the President himself, and especially Oprah have any clue how to fix the problem because they don't have a clue what the problem is.  Teachers are better trained than they have EVER been before in the history of this country. Yet, our results are certainly not stellar. Each year we are faced with more students from broken homes, less enthusiasm and support from parents, and over the past few years, less pay. The problem is that in the US, you truly don't need an education to survive. We will take care of you. There's a fine line between helping and enabling. We've crossed it.

Lastly, I think I have this vision of a perfect teacher doting over her students, spending hours grading papers, giving students their home phone number, going to their ball games, etc.  I have a family of my own. I don't do much after school anymore. I only on certain occasions will give my phone number to students, and although I truly care about a lot of them, I cannot lie awake at night worrying about them. I do the best I can do. I work most days like the entire school's success depends on me.  However, when it's time to go home, I go home. Maybe that's how I've survived into my 13th year. God has granted me the serenity to change the things I can change as well as deal with the things I cannot change. Unfortunately, there are a growing number of issues I feel I cannot change and TOTY or not, I am really concerned that I won't be able to handle those issues all the way to retirement.

So Tuesday, the judges won't find me standing on my head, bribing kids with candy, or putting on any sort of show. My students have a killer 9 weeks exam on Thursday and we'll be working our butts off to get ready for it. That may not make me a TOTY and I'm okay with that.