You're old enough for your wants not to hurt you!

If I had a nickel for every time my daddy told me this growing up I'd be retired already. Recently, I've come to realize the wisdom in those words.  In the past few days I've talked to three different close friends who discussed their struggles with the current economy. Thankfully all of them are employed but they are underemployed. Their hours have been cut or they have been furloughed. One works on commission and has seen her average monthly income cut by half.

As we discussed the economy and the toll it's taken on all of us and those we love, a theme emerged. We're all every bit as happy as we've ever been. Two of us are driving cars that are paid for and the other is driving a very economical base model vehicle. We talked about how we've almost gotten a sense of accomplishment out of driving a paid for vehicle. I was watching Suze Orman a few nights ago and she said that if people would drive their car for 10 years rather than 5, they would save 500,000 dollars over the course of their lifetime. Wow. It hit home for me. I've driven my van for 6 years. I don't know if we'll make it to 10, but I'm going to drive it till the wheels fall off and then only after several unsuccessful attempts to reattach them will I buy another car. Someone sent me a clip from Dave Ramsey who was giving advice about buying a new car. He advises only to purchase a new car when the total repair bills add up to more than a year's car payment. I get it. I'm really going to try. So far we've had to replace the compressor at a cost of 500 dollars. But, that's it and that's not even one month's payment on a new one.

Friends and I have also discussed how we've tried to save money by eating at home more. The benefits of eating at home are far greater than simple economic reasons. My friends and I have resolved to eating better, healthier and closer to home. We're resolved to preparing lunches for our children next year rather than depending on school lunches which have gotten too expensive and nutritionally lacking. I must confess that I've enjoyed browsing the internet for neat school lunch ideas. I've also enjoyed the challenge of trying to put together lunches that are economical and nutritious. Some great ideas can be found here: http://health.kaboose.com/nutrition/brown-bag-it.html  I've estimated that over the last 6 months we've cut our eating out by at least 50 percent. It hasn't been bad at all. I've found some great new recipes I want to try and I'm looking forward to seeing how far I can stretch my dinner dollar during the school year.  I was astonished at the amount of money we spent on school lunches for the 4 of us last year, and we didn't eat in the lunch room that often! We've made it a goal to stay out of the school cafeteria! Guess what! We're still happy as we ever were. We've enjoyed more time together by eating at home and I've lost about 7 pounds!

The best things in life are not things folks. We're constantly chasing things that will only contribute to a fleeting sense of security and happiness. I know what Daddy meant when he said you're old enough for your wants not to hurt you. The wants really don't hurt anymore and we've achieved a new sense of direction in our family while discerning the wants from the needs. We still have miles to go. But I am determined to eliminate some debt and live more freely. It has become a competitive game to me. Now if I could just get my husband to play along! I'm not saying I'm a miserly person. I still have to have a little frivolity in my life. Wine has been defined as a need not a want. I've considered moving pedicures from the want to the need column as well!!! But I'm doing better, and I guess that's what counts.

On another note, As most of you know I taught Ag Ed for several years. My husband and I actually met during our student teaching at Franklin County High. We both taught Ag until my Addie was born. It was just too much. She was born in February, the same month I asked to be moved to an academic classroom. It was a terribly difficult decision since I LOVED teaching Ag and I loved my FFA kids. My instructional supervisor was so supportive and I've never forgotten that. She held a science job for me until I could make up my mind. On the day I had to give her an answer, I dropped Ali Grace off at the sitter and she looked up at me with the sweetest blue eyes ever and said, "Mama is this going to be another long day?" My decision was so easy after that. I've never regretted it at all. Pete continued to teach Ag until we moved to Louisville where there was no ag job available. I've blabbed it to most of you but if you haven't heard, Pete just signed a contract today to teach Ag again in Jenkins County. I am so glad he will be back to doing what he loves. But, at the same time, I worry about family time and his ability to prioritize. Most men struggle with their roles of provider versus father/husband. He's no different. So although the increase in pay couldn't come at a better time, suffice it to say that I have a little anxiety about it. I am just focusing on the debt we can pay down with his extra pay and the fact that he'll be a world happier where he is and I'm just going to have to do a little more myself around here. Wants versus Needs...yes, I get it.

I will be busy the rest of the summer with back to school shopping in addition to a much needed beach vacation. Don't worry! We're going economy style! We are staying the entire week but we are sharing a condo with Pete's brother's family. We are eating out at lunch rather than supper to save money and we're enjoying planning meals to cook at home for supper while we're there. I know the girls will have a wonderful time with their cousins Sarah and Emma. So enjoy the rest of your summer everyone! It may be awhile before I get back here!

The Southern Front Porch

There is probably no architectural feature more indicative of Southern culture than the front porch. When my husband and I bought our first house in Guyton, Georgia a year after we married, I fell in love with the porch. Really nothing else about the house mattered. Looking back on it, the porch was small and narrow but Ali Grace was tiny and there was no need for anything bigger. I met my neighbor then and we spent many a hot summer evening rocking our babies there. We remain friends to this day, almost ten years later.

Unfortunately I realized the importance of a porch way too late after buying our second home in Rincon, Georgia in the spring of 2004.  The house was by all accounts a step up from our first little starter home in Guyton. It was in a golf course subdivision. My husband loves golf and we thought it would be perfect. There was no porch, but there was a small "veranda".  I've since learned that "Veranda" is a yankee word for "Wish we had a porch".  We hardly ever used it and I sorely missed having a porch. We never even met our neighbors there, although we did hear their yapping dogs while sitting on our "veranda".

Finally we heard the call of the wild and decided it was time to move back to the country. It was a tough decision. We took a pay cut. A BIG PAY CUT. However, how many people get the chance to live in a house their daddy designed and their husband helped build with his own hands? What immediately attracted me to this house was it's front porch. I ordered the plans and my dad totally changed the outside appearance of the house as well as adding some square footage to the inside. We also bumped out the front porch a foot or so. I love my front porch. We don't live in a neighborhood any longer so I doubt anyone will be taking an evening stroll and just happen upon our porch. But, honestly y'all.... some nights I sit on that porch by myself and the wind rustles through the boston ferns and I really think to myself that life honestly can not get any better. It's therapeutic.

Recently I was sitting on my porch during one of those common summer evening thunderstorms. I looked around and what I saw was almost like a still life painting.  The ferns were gorgeous. Ali Grace's box of crayons was sitting by the door. Addie's dolls were sitting in the black rocking chair that has peeling paint. Pete's old tennis shoes were strewn across the porch where the dogs had dragged them around. You can tell a lot about a person by their front porch.  I didn't get a twitch from the disarray. I soaked it up instead.

Obviously my ferns are the pride of my porch. I love them and I baby them. I only want ferns that I cannot reach around. I am too impatient to grow ferns throughout the summer. I want a huge fern in the spring. I got mine this year at Louisville Hardware. I paid way too much for 6 ferns but I get so much enjoyment from them, I think it's worth it.  Two tablespoons of epsom salts per gallon of water will really  make them green up if you've wintered your ferns. I don't usually winter mine. I throw them out around Christmas time and buy new ones in the spring. Sounds kinda cruel I guess but I have no place to really store them. When my house was on the Christmas Tour of Homes, my boston ferns were still beautiful in December. That's one of the blessings of living in the South I guess. I try to mist mine everyday as well. Ferns like humidity and it's very hard to overwater them, especially somewhere this hot! As long as there are drain holes in the bottom of the container, there is little danger of overwatering.

Well I'm getting off the internet and getting back to my porch. Lately it's so hot, the only porch time I get is after 10! Have a wonderful week and if things get too crazy, go sit on your porch for a spell. If you don't have one, you are welcome on mine anytime.

Kids are like canaries..

Okay I've been MIA. I realize that. It's summer right? We have been quite busy so far with swimming lessons, vacation bible school, visiting grandparents, and trying to keep up with chores around the house. I always tell folks that we carved this place out of the bush. They laugh, but literally we did. Pete hacked his way into the woods with a machete so that we could see what this 6 acres really looked like. Believe me when I say it's a constant battle to keep the bush from reclaiming it!  

I had one of my first heartbreaking mommy moments this past week and I've thought about it a lot since. Ali and Addie both went to VBS at their grandmother's church this past week. Toni is VBS director and she's always asked to keep the girls that week and while I miss them, I realize it's not all about me and how I feel. It's about my children's childhood memories of their grandparents, so I try not to be selfish with their time together. The girls especially enjoyed spending time on St. Simon's Island. Anyway, they both had a WONDERFUL time. Luckily my brother in law and sister in law live across the road from my mother and father in law and so Aunt Jessica shared some of the responsibility for the kids last week. Thanks Aunt Jess! When we got home, Ali was telling me about Aunt Jessica taking her to Chic-fil-A and letting she, Addie, and Emma play on the playground. Ali told me that out of the blue a 2nd grade girl told her she was ugly because she had freckles. I tried not to appear upset, until Ali said, "she said something THAT ugly Mama and she had a vacation bible school shirt on!".  Out of the mouths of babes. I explained to Ali Grace that she was beautiful in every way and that God doesn't value outer beauty and so this little girl had a MAJOR problem since she was ugly on the inside. You see, ugly on the INSIDE is way harder to fix. 

Thinking about this incident made me wonder about the world as a whole. You know miners used to bring canaries into the mine with them since they were sensitive to methane and carbon monoxide buildup. As long as the canary was singing, everything was fine. If the canary died, you'd better do something quickly. As Christians, I think our canary may be dying. We are wearing our bible school shirts but are we really teaching our children those truths? We may be involved in our church every time the doors open, but when we're in our own homes and workplaces are we really reflecting the Good News? I really started to think how this little girl in her bible school shirt and her mean spirited actions are how some non-christians see the Body of Christ as a whole these days. This entire incident may have been a mere instance of simple childhood behavior, but it struck a nerve with me. 

For example, it sickens me to see the number of "Good Christian Men" who've walked away from their wives of 20 years or so because they've found their "soul mate".  I am not judging them. But, neither do I want to see their pictures on facebook and their constant status updates about being in love.  Additionally, I do not want to hear your whiny explanations of how the other woman had absolutely nothing to do with the breakup of your marriage. More so, I don't want to see your updates regarding what wonderful people you are and how the people in your church love you as if God means faithfulness in marriage for OTHERS. He gave YOU specifically a pass on this requirement. These are the same men who go to PromiseKeepers rallies and extol the virtues of Christian marriage constantly to everyone who will listen and even to those who'd rather not. Maybe I AM the one being a jerk here. I don't know, but it's how I feel. I say THAT to say THIS- until we get it together in our own marriages, we have absolutely NO credibility with non-christians regarding the "sanctity of marriage".  

Ali and I had a long talk about what it means to talk the talk and walk the walk. It doesn't mean thumping your Bible and telling everyone else what they are doing wrong and what they should be doing. It starts with doing what God told YOU to do.  Ali said "I think being nice to your parents and to others is important". Whew! That made me feel really good. Being nice to your parents means being nice to your parents your whole life. You can't spew on and on about what a difference the Church has made in your life and talk ugly around ANYONE, much less your mama. I hear so many men nowadays telling off color jokes and just generally talking filth around women. It makes me want to say "do the other men in your Sunday school class talk this way?" You are not winning people over that way and you are not fooling anyone.  

I recently had a facebook friend request from a former student from a LONG time ago. When I taught her, she was way off track. She got pregnant at 15 and dropped out of school. She had great parents who loved her, and two older brothers whom I adored. Even though her parents were active in the church and raised her knowing better, she made life very tough on herself and everyone around her for a few years before getting her life back on track. We all make mistakes and fall short, despite good raising so this in and of itself is not my gripe. Once we became facebook friends I realized through her status updates that not only had she gotten married, found her way back to the church, and reconciled her relationship with her parents- she's also gotten herself a HUGE high horse upon which to sit. Every status update condemned someone or some action. The straw that broke the camel's back and led to her deletion was  "it makes me sick to see all the immorality going on at Alatoona this week...girls dressed in nothing- don't their parents know better?".   Certainly it's hard to disagree that 14 year olds running around thinking they're Baywatch Babes probably isn't a good thing. However, I wanted to say "you had good Christian parents who raised two older brothers just fine. You came along, acted a straight fool, ran all over town like a dog in heat, and you're saying it was your parents fault? Statistics say that those 14 and 15 year old girls were probably NOT sexually active, even though we all know YOU certainly were at that age!"  Well I figured rather than write such a comment, I'd better just exercise my right to delete and I did.  I am so glad she's turned her life around and that she's happy again and on the straight and narrow. However, when did it become so fashionable for Christians to endure our own struggles and shortcomings and then with an attitude of disgust, point those same shortcomings out in everyone else?   But now, she's found God and foolishly believes that gives her a pass to start pointing fingers at everyone else. Sheesh. Give it a rest. 

I have a friend who had a rather unstable upbringing and unfortunately, fell into a life of drug and alcohol addiction. Addiction had a terribly strong grip and he only freed himself with the help of God and a wonderful woman who loved him despite his failures. They have both become very active in their church and although we disagree over some theological points, it warms my heart to hear from them. You will never find him shaking his head in "indignant disbelief" at the drug addicted among us.  His attitude is more along the lines of "I beat this with God's help and you can too". At least this is the impression I get.  He doesn't have this attitude of being "repulsed" by those who fall short.

All major Christian denominations have declined in the past decade. Christians as a whole are making up a declining percentage in the American population. I can't help but think that the rude little girl in her bible school shirt at Chic fil A is the canary coughing and staggering. 

So now that I've ranted for some time, I'm going to do better this week.  It's a new week, and I can't control what other folks do. I can only control how I choose to react. Have a good week everyone. Be good to each other!

Catching up...

Funny how you can tell how nutty my life is by the infrequency of my blog posts! When things are calm, I  blog almost daily. When things are crazy, I blog quite sporadically. Since my last post was about a month ago, you can draw your own conclusions!  Someone asked me a few days about several things on previous posts like "was that clinique makeup really worth it?"  "Did you ever taste any of that locally bottled milk?" and "do you ever consign your girls clothes?"... WELL, I realized that I ask all sorts of questions and rarely do I answer them. Here goes.

A couple months or so ago, I threw out every shred of skincare or makeup product in my drawer. I spent well over 200 dollars restocking with Clinique products. I'm talking everything from eyeliner to concealer to powder to astringent.  I bought the entire skin care line, including the "Dramatically Different" facial lotion. I would now like to announce that in fact Clinique products are not that dramatically different from anything else I've used with the exception of the lipstick. The color and staying power of the lipstick is not what I like about it though. It's the fact that it will not melt in a hot car! I've no idea what sort of carcinogenic chemical keeps it from melting but it won't! Other than that, I say stick with your avon girls! I love the thermal cleanser Avon makes and as soon as my pricy Clinique runs out, I'll be ordering Mary Kay or Avon again.

Unfortunately I have not tried the local milk. Since I work in Louisville, I don't pass by the dairy that often. It's on my to do list for summer though. I did taste some honey from Savannah Bee Company that Pete bought in Wrens. You know the raw kind with the comb still in it?? Mmm mmmm good!

And no, I don't usually do consignment shops. I just don't have the time for it. I sell some things to Kid2Kid for pennies and then end up spending those pennies on other clothes in the store. That's okay though.

Now that I've answered my questions of the week, I have to say that Tammy Hodges is the hostess with the mostest. We had a great time at she and her husband's Derby Party this evening. The crab cakes were to die for and even though we were so far out in East Egypt, that we had country cable issues and couldn't SEE the Derby, it was fun to gather round and listen to it like the Waltons! The 136th Derby is probably the first one I've missed in 20 years, but the crab cakes and mint juleps were worth it!  The Derby hats were not that impressive this year anyhow. I looked on the Churchill Downs website and honestly, the hats looked like the hats I used to wear around as a little girl. My mom would let me go through her scarves and old fabric pieces and play dress up. I think a few of those ladies stole my design idea!   I have always loved to watch horse racing. I love the Derby best but I am always anxious to see if that winner can take the triple crown with a win at the Preakness and the Belmont Stakes. Fascinating to say the least. Pete and I took students to Churchill Downs and had a really good time a few years ago. If you're ever in Louisville, (the one with the silent S), be sure to go take a tour. It will give you chills. They walk you right up the tunnel where the Derby horses walk to the starting gates and it is really cool to know you walked where the great Secretariat once walked!  They have a great Derby history film they play in the Derby museum while they play "My Old Kentucky Home" that will bring tears to your eyes even if you don't know pea turkey about horses or racing. Pete and I went on an exchange weekend at the University of Kentucky during college (long before we were "Pete and Carmen"). We got to watch several races at Keeneland and if you've never had dirt from a horse race fly in your face, you really should. It is UNREAL to see thoroughbreds race in person. So visit! I recommend it way more than Clinique makeup!

Have a great rest of the weekend!

It ain't easy bein' green

Most everyone who knows me knows I have a little tinge of green haired tree hugging freak in me. I don't know where it comes from honestly. I'm a staunch right winger on most issues. I drive a foreign car. I don't recycle anything but aluminum cans and I REALLY don't do that.   I give them to my housekeeper and SHE recycles them. I am a meat eater. I give my kids too much sugar and yes, (gasp here) I am not convinced there is any real threat from global warming and even if there was, I'm not sure there's anything we can do about it. Oh, and I've never even been close to Berkeley!

So, even though I have no clue why I have an "eco-affliction", I know I've always had it and it's here to stay. Part of it is having an agriculture degree, and being raised on the land. But, I think a bigger part of it is that I worry about my own children and the world we are leaving them. The more I read, the worse it gets. I heard a scientist talking on a BBC show the other day and it caught my ear. The premise of the talk was that "organic ain't where it's at".  The scientist, Dr. Tim Lang, insists that although organic farming is a valiant endeavor, FOOD MILES is the kicker. More could be done to alleviate environmental concerns by buying local food rather than focusing on buying organic food from across the continent. Interesting.

However, my concern over food production in this country has less to do with the environment and more to do with sustainability and survival. When fossil fuels begin to dwindle and we can no longer afford to import our food, and no one here remembers how to grow their own, what WILL we do? This is a problem that should be dealt with now- not later. This is why I part ways with my republican friends over Drill Baby Drill. Why prolong the agony? Why push this problem on down to your grandchildren? The problem with fossil fuels isn't going away. It should be addressed, not passed off to future generations. Personally, I have made it a point to pay attention when my daddy plants his garden, and I want the girls to pay attention to how food is grown, where it comes from, and how to prepare it.  If we wait on the government, it will be too little too late. If we act individually, it will be too little, but if we act as a community focused on providing each other with wholesome, local food when possible, it just might make a difference.

I recently joined a facebook group called "Liberate your lawn! Grow food not grass!". I say this as my sprinklers water my azaleas outside, but the idea does fascinate me and when I have more time, I'm going to GROW not MOW! I did recently talk my husband out of spending 600 dollars on Zoysia seed for our front yard. Seriously, who needs that? We live on a dirt road in a pine thicket in a beautiful house that we literally carved out of the bush.  I love the "wildness" of this place. If I wanted Zoysia, I'd have stayed on a golf course. Pine needles, crabgrass, and sand make a great front yard in my opinion- at least till I have the time to grow peppers and tomatoes out there.

With THAT being said, my husband has had a wild hair for several years now to raise his own honeybees for organic raw honey. Raw honey has many more medicinal effects than pasteurized, strained honey. Many allergists believe that taking daily doses of locally grown honey can solve 90% of all the seasonal allergy issues we endure every spring because the local pollen, mold, etc. that makes us all miserable is found in the honey and your body will build up an immunity. Fascinating.  Anyway,  I guess there are far worse things for men to spend their time doing, so I'll humor him on this one.  And I thought I was the eco-nut! We already have homegrown organic eggs. Now raw honey. We're regular hippies around here these days but I couldn't be happier about it.  A little slice of heaven is what it is.

Update

It's spring around here and we have been busier than a one armed paper hanger as my papa used to say!  The girls really have enjoyed the warmer weather. My Addie, although quite rough and tumble, prefers to wear skirts and dresses, and she also loves to go bare legged. She has been so excited to be able to wear a dress with no tights to school this week.  

Ali Grace has continued to progress with her riding lessons. She has always had a hard time maintaining her focus and concentration and I really think her riding lessons are helping. She gets frustrated sometimes and I have to remind her that if this were easy, everyone would do it. She loves her horse, Treasure. Treasure is a very small mare that was picked on by the other mares in the group and so we had to move her because she was losing weight and constantly being bitten by the other horses. This horse LOVES Ali. I guess they are kindred spirits. Ali has never mentioned being picked on or anything, but she often laments the fact that she's the tiniest kid in her class. I guess she knows how Treasure feels. Treasure will come to her when she walks in the gate and follow her all over the pasture until Ali decides to leave. We all find it quite comical.  Her teacher emailed me this week and told me how proud she was of Ali Grace. She said Ali finished her benchmark tests in the allotted time and exceeded the standard on the test. We were VERY worried about her concentration and her ability to finish in time. Whew!

My cousin Julie had her first baby this week. Her name is Anneli and she is just beautiful. I am so happy for she and her husband Goran. That poor girl has more Hokie clothing than the law allows I'm sure, but I found a burp cloth this week that said "I drool maroon and orange" and I had to have it.  So so cute!


In other news, my friend Tammy mentioned in her blog recently that if we Americans want manufacturing jobs to return to this country, we have to do more to support companies who pay American workers on American soil. I whole heartedly agree with this idea. It is only an extension of my locavore belief. Imagine the fuel and energy used to transport cheaply made tee shirts from China all the way to the United States.  I have mentioned before that I love buying handmade items, just because of their originality and also because an American woman made them in her American home - albeit on a Japanese sewing machine. BUT, I feel like that's what this country has to get back to in order to survive tough times. We need to provide for each other. Is there something YOU do well, that you could trade someone else for goods or services?  My dad does a lot of bartering with other people and has found it quite profitable and beneficial to both parties involved. We depend far too much on other countries to provide our necessities. Americans need to do more to provide their own food and clothing. I personally love farmer's markets in the spring and summer and I WISH I had Tammy's sewing ability. But, alas I do not, so I must stick with what I know. She has Family and Consumer Science degree and I have an Agriculture degree. I wonder if she'd trade some sewing for some cucumbers, tomatoes and squash!  LOL  :)  Have a wonderful Easter everyone!

I can DISH it out!

My husband can attest to the fact that I am a china freak. I'm not talking about egg rolls and wontons. I'm talking Lenox and Wedgwood! I don't know why really. I think I inherited it from my mom. Anyway, when I got married my china pattern was Lenox McKinley. If you've never seen it, they used it on the West Wing when the show aired. 

I loved it, and I remember the day I picked it out at Seawright's Jewelers on the square in Hartwell. But after some time I realized that the pattern was SO uber-formal that I never used it and when I did I was too busy making sure no one whacked one of the little pearl droplets off the plates to enjoy using it! The pattern was beautiful but definitely not me. I sold it on ebay to a very grateful woman who'd long admired the pattern but could not afford it. Win win. I love it when that happens.

After that, I went pure tee crazy. I now have 8 place settings of Lenox Winter Greetings (both the formal and everyday settings), Lenox Summer Greetings, various fiesta wear pieces, a Vera Wang set of chargers, a beautiful set of British china given to me by my husband's aunt Betty, a set of Pineapple by American Atellier, Friendly Village by Johnson Brothers, and many many more. I am bad about getting all sorts of pieces from different patterns. I LOVE the canisters from the Lenox Butler's Pantry. I don't have the place settings but I do have the canisters. I love the shapes of bowls and I am picky about the way a plate feels in your hands, so it's not all about looks. I will usually order one piece and keep it for awhile before I buy the entire setting just to see if it fits in with the madness around here. I don't know why I have this affliction, but I browse china patterns like other people browse for clothes or cars or something. 

     

Next weekend I'm taking my Summer Greetings to set a spring table for my mother in law's spring gala at her church. I'm going to use it with a natural wicker charger. Here it is:

 

Actually this is the oriole plate and you should know that I have every bird variety Lenox makes. I am aware of my affliction and no one needs to point that out. I love to mix and match dessert plates and chargers from different patterns. I'm currently drooling over an Oneida Earthenware pattern called "Wine Country". But, since we're trying to shore up our savings account, I am refraining for now. My birthday is in June. Maybe I can wait till then!  

I mostly browse amazon and ross simons for good china deals, although I've found some great buys on select pieces at smartbargains,com and overstock.com  If you are looking for flatware, ross-simons is second to none. You can get some GREAT deals on stainless there. I have both Oneida Kenwood and Golden Kenwood. I like both of them, and so I haven't bought any other since I've married. But hey- that could be a whole new addiction for someone else out there!  

Tomorrow, I'm being sequestered in order to churn out a chunk of my dissertation. Have a great weekend everyone. Enjoy it for me!